I just wanted to write. I can’t talk to anyone. I can’t do anything but write here.
Even though you hate the thought of it. The word. The feeling. I’m 100% positive i’ve absolutely fallen in love with you.
Through everything. All the pain. The suffering. My life. After attempting suicide several times… you’re here. You’re here by my side. You haven’t left me. I can’t see my life without you. Everytime i think about you. since day 1. I feel like my chest is going to explode. I love you. I love you so much. but I can’t tell you. You hate it. You hate the word. The thought. I know you’ve been hurt. And I know the word is overused and not understood… but I dont use it. ever. unless i’m for sure. And i’m positive.
The thing is that it hurts so much… i’ve been hurt so many times that I think so much… I love you. So much. But i’m so afraid of losing you I feel that I’m hurting myself. I worry about it so much… I care so freaking much. I just get this feeling that you haven’t left me yet because you don’t wanna hurt me… You say that it’s not true… but it could be. I want to do what I always do and prep myself for being hurt… but I cant… idk…